HOLY CRAPABUNGA, NEWT FANS!!
THE PROMISED DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!!!
THE BIGGEST UPDATE EVER!!!!!!! (so far)

You know what that means??

IT MEANS THAT
NEWT IS FINALLY A ROGUE-LITE!!! _{(HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!!!)}
It ALSO means we have a LOT to go over

So I've been very busy in the nearly THREE MONTHS since the last update, and I'm sorry this build took so long, but when you get to play it you will see that the wait was ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT.

In that time I

• Had a birthday
• Moved apartments
• Passed my first year of college
• and most importantly, ate a shitlot of good food!

So now with my stupid life crap out of the way, I can finally get into the patchNEWTs (awesome new name for these that I came up with yesterday).

ADDED:

• PROCEDURAL GENERATION!!
  • This is what made the wait so long, but it is by far the most substantial update this game will ever get.
  • There are currently 12-ish rooms of varying quality as of writing, but I plan to have more
  • There are also 2 RARE rooms that have a 1% chance of spawning! Oooooh, aaaaah....
  • I will explain how the levels are structured at the bottom of the patches so go there to hear more about it.
• Also I added a cute little mini-map!!
  • The Newt-head icon on it sometimes gets misaligned but I may have that figured out before the update goes live.

• Shops!
  • Visit Stu's awesome little carnival stall to trade in your hard earned tickets (dollars) for sweet prizes! (guns)
  • Interact with him to (have a chance to) reroll the shop for the low price of one dollar!

• Also there's money now!!

• Treasure rooms!!
• Treasure CHESTS
• Keys!!!
  • Keys work in a fun unique way. If two of them touch they merge into a double key, and then into a Triple Key.
  • The downside is that you have to hold them in your pocket, so you can only have nine on you, plus up to three in your hands.
• 2 New weapons!!
• DOUBLE the Passive Items!!!
• Fun new level design features such as
  • Spike traps!
  • Collapsing platforms!
  • Hard blocks!
  • Soft Blocks!
• HITSCAN WEAPONS CAN FINALLY SYNERGIZE WITH THE HOMING SHOTS SODA
  • IT WORKS JUST LIKE IN ISAAC, IT IS SO INSANELY COOL
  • I CANT SAY THE F WORD CUS I WANT THIS GAME TO BE RATED T BUT OH MAN I WANNA SAY IT SO BAD!!!!

• Cute little self-promo links on the main menu :)

• Created an email address for you to send Bug Reports/Feedback through!
• No one should use Discord for this kind of thing...
• A Patreon!!
  • If you're reading this then there's a high chance you're already a member, but in case you aren't you can find a link on the games bluesky, the Games page of my website, or IN NEWT ITSELF on the main menu of the new build!!
  • Subbing to the patreon will give you access to this as well as any future updates at no additional cost!!
  • All money recieved from it goes directly to artists and musicians to help improve the game, and you also get some nifty bonuses :)
• This section of my website!
  • Itch.io is super awwesome and all but oh my GOD those formatting bugs were driving me INSANE
  • Read an archive of all the old (properly formatted!) patchnotes at https://sonyplaytation.neocities.org/games/directory
• Added a developer console!
  • Open it by pressing F1
• I plan on adding a little Stat Hud like in Isaac but its currently not done.
  • Hopefully I don't forget lol.
• Added a way to respawn if you have extra lives, forgot to add a way to get extra lives.

CHANGED:

• Basically everything.
• I kinda don't know what to write here anymore cus its just a different game now essentially.
• Oh actually I changed the health bar to be counterclockwise now.
• Changed a bunch of enemy health values.
• Everything should be a bit squishier now.
• I watched through all of Twin Peaks in the time between updates
  • Probably my favourite show now.

FIXED:

• Again I kinda don't know what to qualify as a "fix"
• I guess I "fixed" the game being an actual roguelite now lol

FURTHER THOUGHTS:

So I kinda wanna just add a bit down here as kind of a developers commentary I guess? I just have a lot to say about this update.

Firstly I wanna say that, upon playing this update, you are going to notice that I took a LOT of queues from other games, good games, games I love. As memed-upon as they are, roguelite(s) is (are?) one of my favourite genres, and I tend to play them a LOT, so its only natural that my big love-letter to Video Game is gonna show a lot of influences specifically from games of the same nature. I don't really want you to compare this to whatever list you have in your head, mostly because I don't wanna be the 9000th "THE BINDING OF ISAAC MEETS [XYZ]???" Youtube Thumbnail game to be dragged and dropped for a month before being forgotten about. This is a game I am making out of pure-ass love, and it's been basically the most important thing to me for the past year and change that I've been working on it.

I want to thank you for giving the game a shot. It is so hard to cry out with my whole chest in a sea of bigger budgets and advertising dollars, but if you are readingthis than it means my voice got somewhere, and that someone is listening, and hopefully enjoying my passion project as much as I enjoy making it. If you want to help me, ther is the new PAtreon, but also just interacting with the game is a lot, and it genuinely goes a huge way. Tell a friend about the game, not just for me, but for each other. I truly think video games are an artform that brings us all together, and its how I've met basically everyone I love in my life (besides my cat Fi.)

Also, the Patreon is not going towards some lavish luxury lifestyle of wenches and wine; it would go to paying honest artists -my friends- to be able to help me out and make this game as good as it can be. So please consider it.

Secondly, SCREW all that STUPID emotional SHIT!! I wanna talk MECHANICS!!!!

Okay so the way floors work is that it spawns a bunch of rooms, yadda yadda, typical Isaac ripoff fare. HOWEVER!! This is Isaac meets Nuclear Throne we're talkin about, so before you can beat the floor, you gotta wipe out SIXTY-SIX PERCENT of all life on earth (each floor). Once you have killed two thirds of all guys, then the level exit opens up and you can either skedaddle your little green toes on to the next floor, or stay and collect the extra loot, because drop rates INCREASE after hitting the 66% threshold!!

This not only gives you a sub-goal each floor that you can do quickly and efficiently for the speedsters out there, but it also gives extra incentive to the full-clearers who want to min-max their ASSES off every single day. (FREAKS)

So on the first floor of an "Act" you just get to exit when you hit that threshold, easy peasey! Floor 2 on the other hand, you gotta beat a random Act Boss in order to progress! This could be anyone from MAYNERD THE ACCURSED DULLAHAN to... uhhh....

Okay well currently I still only have one boss made but in the FUTURE each floor is gonna have like three or four bosses to pick from.

But even THAT won't be so easy, because you gotta get the BOSS KEY from a random goon in order to even OPEN the freakin boss door!! (This is not implemented yet but probably will be by launch)

So yeah, you must be out of this WORLD to get past OUR guards!

Thirdly...

Please send me video of you playing the game. I still have never seen anyone play it, and I need to know how other people play. Message me on Discord, Bluesky or email me at NeverEndingWitchesTower@Gmail.com with some gameplay footage PLEEEEEASE!!!

So anyway yeah that's it. thank you for reading the worlds longest, sappiest patchnotes.
Probably gonna take a long break after this one, I assume at least two weeks as long as I can help myself.
I really hope you enjoy it, and that I see you again soon :)